need another drink. this is the easiest way
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Randomize
