Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
