my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
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just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
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Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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