What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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