May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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