Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
