when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it was like eating out sand paper
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
