it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize