Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
