I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
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