Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
