I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
