i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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