you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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