Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
