when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
