It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
