Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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