I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
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You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
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I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Piatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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