i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
try to milk me bitch
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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