I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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