How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
