it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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