how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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