I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize