Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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