How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
