I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
