Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
