is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she pinky promised me she was 18
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
