College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just found a bag of teeth...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
