I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Randomize
