he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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