And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
