And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
