My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
