I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize