my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
