Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
