i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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