It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
