drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
