coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize