Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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