So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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