yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
