it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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