so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize