Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
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