No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
