You're so nebulous sometimes
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
