do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
