It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
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We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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