I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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