so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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