I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
