He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
