drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
