I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
